In an AA meeting a number of us were talking about our drinking days and how we came to the realization we were powerless. As often happens, there was a lot of laughter in the room. Once you realize the absurdity of your thinking, of your faulty logic…well, it’s funny. One guy’s story was that he decided to give up drinking, just to show he had control, just to show he was on top of it. He worked in a bar/restaurant and during this time of self-discipline friends asked if they could buy him a drink.
He was quick to explain that he didn’t have drinks these days. Plus, he had told people he wasn’t drinking, so he didn’t want to be seen with a glass in his hand. But he had an alternative:
“You can buy me a shot!” This happened several times so he was able to still get drunk while, in his mind, keeping his self-discipline.
Another fellow told me once he hadn’t been drinking that day. He had about six beers, but he didn’t consider that drinking. Real drinking was something else…
Sometimes I think we’re mostly crazy, what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous refers to “as self-will run riot” (page 62). Left to our own devices and reasonings, we’ll come up with the most absurd reasons to justify getting what we want.
Healing begins when we truly recognize the wound. Until we admit we are powerless over alcohol, that our lives have become unmanageable, we don’t take significant steps toward healing. At least that’s my personal and perceived experience.
And we don’t make moves toward real discipleship without recognizing our sin, and the depths of our sin, and our need of a Savior. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Proverbs 9:10. It’s a good idea to realize there is a God, and it is not you.